“Mom Class”

Being “Mom” is the greatest job in the world.

I remember our younger daughter, Karin, waving good-bye as her older sister drove down the driveway and off to college in another state. It was actually Teri’s second year away from home. Last year we had made the trip together, hauling far too much of her earthly belongings all the way to California. This time she was taking the car, and making the 1,100 mile trek on her own. This time, she likely wouldn’t be back—at least not to stay. We expected to see her at Christmas, and maybe for a week over the summer. But never again would she consider our house her home. She was growing up.

Watching Karin, I could see her inner conflict—sadness that the sister she’d spent her life, playing with, pestering, talking with, fighting with, was driving out of her life—mixed with joy that after 17 years of sharing Mom and Dad, she now had us all to herself. For our part, we were looking forward to giving her our undivided attention as well.

The alternating schedule at the school Karin attended meant that every other day, she was done with her classes by lunch time. Instead of hanging out with her many friends, she made the decision that on those days, she would come home and spend time with me. She called our time together her “Mom Class.”

So, what was our class syllabus like? It all depended on what Karin felt like talking about that day. We discussed the finer points of omelet making, financial management, and vegetable gardening. We explored various careers she might consider, and the ups and downs of teenage romances. How do you pick a church? How do you pick a husband? How do you know when God is talking to you? How do you know when sautéed chicken is done?

Karin is now an adult living in another state, with a college degree and an awesome husband. Both of us look back on those afternoons as treasures we can never lose. Staying home one more year was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Happily, technology makes staying connected easier than ever, and we keep in close touch. But that year laid the groundwork. In fact, she tells all her friends that they need a Mom Class too.

Teri graduated from college after four long years in L.A. She moved back into her old room while she conducted her job search. For four months, it was her turn to have our undivided attention. Karin was quite insistent, “Teri, you need your Mom Class!” I couldn’t wait to get started.

Of course, different sisters have different personalities, and it wasn’t exactly the same. Yet, for perhaps the first time, we were able to have meaningful conversations on topics that she’d considered too personal as a teenager. Again, I realized that being a Mom was the best job I can ever have.

Teri too is all grown up, married to a wonderful man, and working as a graphic designer. Our lives are busy, and it’s difficult to find time to spend together. Yet, those four months were essential in cementing our relationship, not just as parent and child, but as friends.

This blog is, in a sense, a virtual Mom Class. I guess once you start being a Mom, you are a Mom for life. We have an assortment of other 20s something adults in our life… some were interns in our ministry, some are our kids’ friends and their friends. We have two terrific sons-in-law, who seem as though they’ve always been a part of our family.

I certainly don’t have all the answers. There are plenty of areas where I struggle, a lot I don’t understand. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But I have picked up a few pointers in the last 54 years, and perhaps my sharing them here will save someone else from having to learn the hard way. Consider this unsolicited advice, which you can take or ignore. Humor me that maybe once in a while, I’ll have something to say that is just what you need to hear. And if you have questions, please ask!

Love, Mom