That’s not to say I’ve got it perfect and that I always rejoice in God’s choices for my life. Rather, I’m finally old enough to have some perspective. (There has to be some benefit to getting old!) I’ve learned that what I might not like at the moment may be critical to my well-being later.

It’s sort of like getting a tetanus shot. No one enjoys being stabbed by the needle, and suffering the sore arm afterwards, but we’re willing to put up with the discomfort because of the benefit that results.

One example happened just two days ago. Pete and I were heading out to the plains so I could take photos. I was anxious to get going, fretting as I watched the gorgeous morning light slowly lose its golden glow. When we finally pulled out of the driveway, two hours later than planned, I was not in the best mood—until we emerged from the trees where we live, and I could look across an expanse of short-grass prairie.

There was a herd of pronghorn right by the road! I yelled“Stop!!!” Pete swerved to the shoulder while I grabbed the camera and started shooting. And as you can see, I got results. I admire my husband’s self-restraint. He just calmly pointed out that if we had left on time, I would have missed the photo op I’ve been praying for. Yes, I was aware of that.

My friend, Linda, works at a rehab facility. Calling it “rehabilitation” can be somewhat of a euphemism—while many people do go there to get well, others are clearly at the end of their lives. Recently she found herself consoling a 94-year-old wife who’s husband was getting weaker instead of stronger. Between her sobs, the lady explained that she had lived at her parents’ home before getting married,  and she’d been married for over seventy years. Their only child lived out of state, and could just come for a relatively short visit. “I’ve never been alone before!”

While Pete and I anticipate many more years of marriage, it’s likely a time will come when one of us is left behind. As I listened to my friend’s story, and I put myself in the distraught wife’s place, I realized that God has prepared me for that possibility.

I didn’t move directly from my childhood home into our first apartment. Instead, I first lived 500 miles away at the college I attended, and then on my own (both with and without a roommate) for several more years. Yes, I was lonely at times, but I learned those life skills. I know how to live as a single person.

Being married didn’t ensure constant togetherness either. Throughout the more than thirty years we’ve been together, Pete has traveled a great deal. At times I, or our entire family, was able to go with him, but most of the time I stayed home, especially when our kids were young. Now that we’re officially empty-nesters, I’m often the one who leaves for a week or more while Pete stays here to work.

Sure, we’d rather go together all the time. We enjoy one another’s company now as much as, if not more than, we did when we were just getting started. But circumstances don’t always work out the way we’d like.

Each of us has had ample opportunity to deal with life’s inevitable hassles on our own. One of our best examples is when Pete was asked to go to Korea to help set up for, and participate in, a global conference on world evangelization. He was gone six long weeks. (I realize that’s nothing compared  to military personnel, who are deployed for months or years at a time!)

He left on a Tuesday afternoon. Thursday, my email stopped working. A friend diagnosed the problem as a bad sector on my hard disk. Email was the only way I knew to contact Pete (we didn’t know what the phone numbers there would be—he was to email me and let me know). Being clueless when it comes to hardware, I’m grateful for some techie friends who eventually cobbled something together that worked until Pete got home. Meanwhile, I’d heard nothing from Pete.

Then, on Friday evening, I went downstairs to the laundry room and found raw sewage oozing up from the drain in the floor. About an inch of putrid sludge already extended under the heavy washer and dryer. Ewwwww, gross!

Some experimenting with the other drains in the house revealed that the problem was likely a clogged pipe coupled with a full septic tank. OK. Now what? I’d always lived where there were sewer hook-ups. We’d only been in this house two years, and I had no idea how to solve a septic tank problem. I didn’t even know where the tank was buried! The kids were instructed not to run any water, and to use the trees outside instead of the toilets. (They found this hilarious. Thank God we live on five acres, and had some privacy!) I went to call the plumber and a septic service.

Of course, it being a weekend cost me extra. A rereading of our home purchase paperwork indicated that the septic tank was 45 feet from the house—I just didn’t know where they’d measured from. Happily, for an additional fee, the very nice gentleman used a metal detector and found the tank, buried under our gravel driveway. For another fee, he dug it out.

Then the plumber found his snake was too short to reach the suspected clog, and had to set up again at another access point. Yup, you guessed. There was an additional fee.

Finally, the overflowing tank was empty, and the source of the clog—a popsicle stick that “somehow” (must have been “Not Me”) got into the system—was removed. All sinks and toilets were draining nicely. So was my checking account.

When the car started making funny noises on Sunday, I was past the point of coping. “God! What in the world are You doing? Don’t You know that Pete is on another continent, for heaven’s sake? In fact, that trip was Your idea! I’m just trying to survive here. I didn’t ask for this. Come on, give me a break!”

Realizing that I was at the end of my rope, I called some friends to come pray for me. Of course, I’d been praying all along, but they’d been prayers of desperation and complaint. My loving friends redirected me to a place of submission and gratitude. That made such  a difference!

Yes, the computer had broken, but it had been repaired. There was just enough money in our account to cover the unexpected plumbing bills, extra fees and all. And while the car was making funny noises, it was still running. I finally heard from Pete. He had arrived safely and immediately been put to work solving some problem that had everyone else stumped. He’s really good at things like that.

I wasn’t so overwhelmed anymore by the fact that I had five more weeks to go and had  already spent all the money meant for food. God was still God. He was still in control. I could focus on the moment and let Him do the worrying. When an acquaintance in our Sunday school class handed me a check for several hundred dollars to cover the unexpected expenses, I was overwhelmed at both their generosity and God’s provision.

So, no, I don’t like it when Pete and I have to be apart. But as I thought about all the lessons I’ve learned from those times, I have to appreciate that God really does know what He’s doing. Each of us is much more capable than we’d be otherwise. We don’t worry about what the future may bring. We know God will be there with us.

Now I look at other situations I would have previously complained about, and wonder what God is preparing me for. This helps me obey one of God’s commands that I struggle most with: “… give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV).

I’ve learned a lot about blogging in the last year. My first lesson was that the crowds would not be beating a path to my URL. It takes time to show up in the search engines. It takes time for interested readers to find my blog. I want you to know that I treasure each and every one of you who comes my way, whether you drop in once and move on, or whether you hang around and even comment occasionally. Thank you all.

I also want to thank those who have been guest bloggers on this site. My husband Pete, my son-in-law Jeremy and his brother Andrew… you’ve all contributed articles I was proud to post. (Would you write some more, please?)

Another lesson I’ve learned is to make a schedule. I don’t want to get into a rut, writing about the same thing every time. A schedule helps with writer’s block, offering suggestions on topics to expound upon. But then I had to give myself permission to deviate from my plans as God leads. Hopefully, you enjoy the mix of the spiritual and the mundane, as I cover everything from “what God’s been teaching me lately” to a recipe I particularly enjoy.

In reality, everything we do falls under God’s jurisdiction. He’s just as interested in how we spend our money as in how we spend our time, how we relate to others and how we relate to Him. It’s all part of living as followers of Jesus.

Knowing I have to write something twice a week keeps me on my toes. I’m more aware of how God is working in my life. I notice blessings more. I see needs in myself and in those around me. I’ve even benefitted on a very practical level. Putting words together comes easier than it used to, a useful skill for someone aspiring to a (third) career as a writer, photographer, and speaker.

What started as a mom blog has evolved into a pile of this and that, mixed together, left to age, hopefully producing something nourishing and life-giving. I know this blog has enriched my life—I hope yours as well.

This blog isn’t going to make me rich. (Neither is anything else I do these days!) It obviously isn’t going to bring fame, either. I started it because I had something I wanted to say, that I felt compelled to say, really. God seemed to be urging me to write, so I wrote.

Many times, I’ve been discouraged, sure that no one was reading what I wrote, that it didn’t matter, that I wasn’t making any difference to anyone. But each time I asked God if I should quit, he sent someone to encourage me. It happened again yesterday. As I was looking back over the last year, I told God that I was frustrated that more people weren’t leaving comments. Then, at a lunch meeting, someone I recently met—whom I barely know—came up to me and told me how much my blog meant to them. I had no idea they even knew I wrote a blog (two of them, actually). It felt as though God had just given me a huge hug.

I’ve said it before, and it’s appropriate now. I will continue to write until God says to stop. The rest is up to Him.

This is wonderful with fresh warm chapaties for scooping. (Silverware isn’t used in most parts of India. Instead, you scoop with your right hand.) I serve it as an accompaniment to a meat dish, but you could give it top billing in a vegan meal.

Vegetable Korma

¼ C or less ghee or unsalted butter
4 green cardamom pods, slightly crushed
½ tsp. black cumin (shahi jeera)
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 Tbsp. grated fresh ginger*
1 Tbsp. minced garlic*
2 tsp. ground coriander
½ tsp. chili powder sliced
¼ tsp. turmeric
1 small dark orange sweet potato, peeled & cut in 1-inch pieces
1¼ C very thickly sliced carrots
1 C water
1 C cauliflower pieces
1 C snapped green beans
¼ C cashew pieces
1 C milk (use substitute for vegans)
1 small bell pepper, cut in chunks
1 med. yellow squash, thickly
1 med. zucchini, thickly sliced
¼ C shelled peas (frozen is fine)
1 tsp. salt, to taste

In a good-sixed saucepan, melt the ghee or butter over medium heat. Add the cardamom and cumin, and stir for a few seconds to release the fragrance. Add  the onion and stir-fry for a few minutes, then add the ginger and garlic. Cook until the onions have softened but don’t let them turn brown.

Add the remaining spices; stir and cook for another minute. Pour in the water. Now add the veggies according to how long it takes them to cook.

Start with the sweet potato and carrots. Let them simmer for 5 minutes, then add the cauliflower and green beans. Cook 5 more minutes.

While they’re simmering, put the cashews and milk in a blender and process until they’re smooth.

Now add the pepper and squashes, along with the nut milk. Cook 5 minutes. Add peas. Cook the peas until they’re tender (if fresh) or warmed through (if frozen). That takes about 3 – 5 minutes.

Add salt, stir and serve.

Navratan Korma traditionally has nine different vegetables, nuts and/or fruits. Choices include winter squash, potatoes, almonds, whole cashews, raisins, and diced dried apricots, along with the ingredients listed above.

* Make sure you use fresh ginger, not dried and powdered. An easy way to store both ginger and garlic for Indian (and other Asian) cooking is to peel both, cut the ginger into small pieces, and then run equal amounts of each together through the food processor, producing a paste. Stored in the refrigerator, it keeps a very long time. (My jar is approaching the one-year mark with no signs of mold or other problems.)

Now imagine living like that if you’re only twelve years old, and you’re an orphan.

Scared is a novel, but the conditions that twelve-year-old Adanna faces are drawn from real life. She’s one of millions of orphans, struggling to survive in Swaziland, the part of Africa hardest hit by the AIDS epidemic.

Enter in Stuart, an award-winning photojournalist from the NY Times. He’s fighting his own demons, and returns to Africa to distance himself from his failures at home.

Adanna and her two younger siblings melt Stuart’s heart, as his ability to provide food and care gives this young girl hope.

As the president and CEO of Children’s HopeChest, author Davis knows firsthand the many obstacles facing orphans in Africa. But rather than just provide us with the facts, he weaves his knowledge into a story that surely reveals the Father’s heart for His orphaned children.

The book is beautifully written, the characters are very human, and the message comes across loud and clear without being preachy. Be sure you have a box of tissues handy, and plenty of time, because once you start reading, you won’t want to stop. Even more importantly, you’ll be motivated to act, to do what you can to reach out in Jesus’ name. I hope you do.

The stereotypical woman doesn’t care about socks. She wants shoes. Closets full of shoes. Imelda Marcos levels of shoes.[1]

I, however, care very little about shoes. What really makes me smile are socks.

There are numerous ways in which socks are more worthy of our devotion than shoes. For one, they’re cheap. You can pick up a cute pair of socks at a discount store for a dollar. Even my beloved SmartWool socks cost less than most pairs of shoes.

Socks always fit. There’s no tedious trying-on of numerous pairs, only to find that your first choice rubs blisters into your heels within five minutes of putting them on. After our kids were born, I discovered that my feet had permanently grown in both length and width. I had to discard every pair of shoes I owned and go hunting for wide sizes (only slightly more rare than a flattering bathing suit). But my socks still fit. In fact, I only recently tossed a pair of knee socks I’ve been wearing since high school, a gazillion years ago. I wish my high school jeans still fit.

Because socks are pretty much a one-size-fits-most item, they make great gifts. Not sure what size your aunt wears? Send her socks. You can’t go wrong there.

Socks come in way more colors than shoes, and often all at the same time. Shoes are mostly black, white or bone, brown, navy… dull, goes-with-everything colors. Sure, you can buy red high tops, pink ballet slippers, or those gold spike stilettos I guarantee I will never own. Lately, I’ve seen some very cute sneakers in plaids and stripes. But most shoes are one or two colors of drab.

Socks, on the other hand, can reflect your personality and interests in ways shoes are unable to express. I have socks with flowers on them, socks with birds, socks with monkeys and with chickens. When the snow is flying under gray, lowering skies, I put on my pair of bright green-blue-orange-yellow-red socks—that don’t even match one another!—and I immediately feel like smiling. Try that with a pair of three-inch heels.

In general, I tend to dress pretty conservatively. My kids complain that I’m always wearing brown. I like brown. I can blend in with my surroundings, which is especially helpful when birdwatching or photographing wildlife. You may not be able to judge my mood by my outfit, but just take a look at my feet. The happier I feel, the louder my footwear.

So here’s to hosiery. May your feet be ever snug, and your sock drawer always full.

Do you have a clothing fetish? If you were incredibly wealthy, what would you hoard?

“May God judge those who have the Bible in their own languages or who have the same in their own houses if they do not obey the commandment of Jesus Christ and if they do not help those who have no Bibles either in their houses or in their own languages!” These strong words were taken verbatim from the website of a ministry dedicated to providing Bibles in the native tongues of India. Clearly, they believe every Christian should be involved in Bible translation.

“I don’t mean to offend you,” my friend explained, “I know you’re involved in world missions, but I truly believe my ministry is more important. Before these babies can come to Christ, they have to be born. I’m sure that the Pro-life movement is God’s number one priority!”

I agree wholeheartedly that these are all important ministries. We, as the body of Christ, should be involved in all of these things, and many more besides. But are any of these the most important? Does God really have a hierarchy of ministries? Are some of the ways we serve more important, more strategic, than others? And if they are, can we, as mere mortals, determine which is which?

Does God have a “top ten” list of jobs for us to do? What if everyone decided that because God saved mankind on the ark, we should all go out and purchase some gopher wood? (I can just see us asking at Home Depot for lumber by the cubit.) Or maybe the most important ministries are saved for God’s favorite believers… or those He considers the best workers. Do the rest of us get second-best ministries? Try applying that principle to those who go to prison—or are martyred—f or their beliefs!

Trying to decide what to do based on some hallowed priority list is a sure way to end up paralyzed, unable to make a commitment because something else better may be right around the corner. And if we are sure that the one particular ministry where we serve is more valuable than the others, won’t we conclude that God must love us best?

It seems better to me to seek God’s will for ourselves, without worrying about what anyone else is doing. What abilities did God create in me? What passions and interests? What skills have I learned? What am I good at? What do I love to do? Am I asking God where He wants me? Am I listening, willing to hear His answer?

There are plenty of roles in God’s kingdom for everyone. Some are surely called to be cross-cultural missionaries. Others are appointed to feed the sheep at home. Some need to feed orphans, others should advocate for the babies in their mother’s wombs. There are as many jobs to fill as there are believers created to fill them. The most important question is not what are we doing, but are we obedient?

My husband’s ministry proclaims God’s Lordship over the high tech industry. He’s completely committed to the idea that God wants to be exalted in the world of business and computers. There was a time when I wished God had called him to something I deemed more “important”—perhaps feeding hungry children, or providing for the poor. But God uniquely equipped Pete to do what he’s doing and then assigned him to the task. I was wrong to wish otherwise.

We’ve all heard the parable about God weaving a tapestry out of our lives. He sees the beautiful picture on the front, but all we can see is the messy tangle of threads on the back. Even at that, we only see those in our immediate vicinity. If God has created us to be a blue thread, who are we to ask to be yellow or green? If he wants to weave us in here, we have no place asking to be woven in there instead.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12, “There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.” We are one body with many parts. All our contributions will be significant as long as we allow Jesus to be our head.

I leave my computer on for a number of reasons. For one, other people need access to it even when I’m gone. That may or may not be true for you, too. Plus, my back-up software runs every night.  Gotta have that! (When do you do your backups?)

There’s also the convenience factor. Since I work at home, I tend to take a break every so often to run downstairs and fold laundry, go outside to feed our hens, make lunch, etc. I’d be turning my system off multiple times a day, and then waiting each time for the five minutes or so it takes to come back up again. In the evenings, I like to chat with my kids on AIM, check the weather prediction, comment on Facebook, read the news, etc., so again, I’m using my computer frequently. If your computer is at work, by all means shut it down when you leave for the day.

Repeatedly turning your computer off and on does wear it out. Many articles assume you’ll be replacing your computer before this matters. That’s not necessarily true. While a lot of corporations buy all new computers every three years, that’s a luxury most of us can’t afford. You might save electricity by turning things off, but that savings needs to be balanced against the energy and other resources that go into making the replacement computer you’ll need sooner than later.

So, are there times when you should turn your computer off to save energy?

Let’s start with simple things first. Try setting your screen saver to shut down your screen when you’re not using it. It’s very easy, and you don’t have start again from scratch—just wiggle your mouse.

Powering down your monitor is great, but doesn’t affect your entire computer. The next step is to put your CPU to sleep. An article from the US Department of Energy states:

ENERGY STAR® computers power down to a sleep mode that consumes 15 Watts or less power, which is around 70% less electricity than a computer without power management features. ENERGY STAR monitors have the capability to power down into two successive “sleep” modes. In the first, the monitor energy consumption is less than or equal to 15 Watts, and in the second, power consumption reduces to 8 Watts, which is less than 10% of its operating power consumption.

Make sure you have the power-down feature set up on your PC through your operating system software. This has to be done by you, otherwise the PC will not power down.

I found the power-down feature on my computer by clicking on the Start button, choosing “Settings,” then “Control Panel,” and then “Power Options.” Note that your computer may not go to sleep if a screen saver is running.

Finally, the same article recommends turning off your entire computer if you’ll be away for more than two hours. This advice is based on average energy consumption for a running PC compared to the extra electricity needed to start it up again, and doesn’t take into consideration the other factors I mentioned above.

Obviously, if you only use your computer infrequently, say a few hours every day or two, turning it off when you’re done makes a ton of sense.

If you want to save every possible kilowatt, you can go one step further. Like TVs and other electronic equipment, computers, printers, and other peripherals consume some electricity even when they’re not turned on. Plugging everything into a power strip, and then switching off the entire strip when not in use, ensures that no power is drawn at all. (Power/surge strips have the added bonus of protecting your equipment during thunderstorms. Get the cheapest one you can, since in this case, you want it to “fail.”) Or, you can just unplug everything when you’re not using it.

In short, the decision of whether to turn off your PC or not depends a lot on your particular circumstances. Yes, it saves energy. However, if you use your computer a lot, it might not be worth the time, and the wear and tear on your equipment, to be shutting it down all the time.

How about turning off the TV instead?

Why would you want to read a book on spirituality written by someone who admits he’s really bad at it?

Right up front, Michael Yaconelli explains that his life is a mess. He describes his Christian walk—“The best I can do is a stumbling, bumbling, clumsy kind of following”—and then asks, “So how can someone unspiritual presume to talk about spirituality? How can someone unholy presume to talk about holiness? It makes no sense.”

I’m so glad Yaconelli didn’t let his struggle to be spiritual stop him from writing Messy Christianity: God’s Annoying Love for Imperfect People. It describes a spirituality, not of monks and ascetics, but for “those of us who live in the city, have a wife or husband, three children, two cats, and a washing machine that has stopped working… those of us who are single, work sixty to seventy hours a week, have parents who wonder why we’re not married, and have friends who make much more money than we do… those of us who are divorced, still trying to heal from the scars of rejection, trying to cope with the single-parenting of children who don’t understand why this has happened to them…” In other words, he proclaims hope for those of us “who don’t have it all together and probably never will.”

I find that incredibly liberating! So many of us go to church and hide behind walls of conformity, doing what is expected and acceptable, answering “I’m fine, thank you” to all who inquire of us. Yet Yaconelli points out that the Bible is full of people who made mistakes, messed up, and otherwise showed their feet of clay. These same people are considered heroes of the faith, not because they were perfect, but because of their relationship with God.

Through chapters dealing with topics such as rejection, discipleship, and spiritual growth, the author butchers sacred cows and demonstrates the triumph of God’s unlimited mercy and grace… His overwhelming love for us. At the risk of appearing to condone sin, Yaconelli urges us to take advantage of our freedom in Christ. If we aren’t failing at times, we probably aren’t risking much either. Sometimes, failure denotes growth.

If you frequently fall short of your spiritual goals, if you feel at times like you don’t belong in the church, if you feel you just can’t “do Christianity right”—this book is for you. Eugene Peterson, in A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, sums it up: “All the persons of faith I know are sinners, doubters, uneven performers. We are secure not because we are sure of ourselves, but because we trust that God is sure of us.”

If this describes you,  you’re probably miserably sulking in a corner somewhere, just trying to endure until next Monday (imagine looking forward to a Monday!) when the whole deal will be over and romance can be ignored until next February.

Shame on you! You’ve surrendered your pride and your self-esteem to Hallmark. Just because you aren’t currently in some sort of relationship, you aren’t a second-class person. Dump the pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Being unattached on Valentine’s Day has some advantages.

Just think—you don’t have to somehow deduce and then fulfill anyone else’s expectations! No need to shell out three times the normal price for a dozen red roses that will have wilted by the end of the week. You aren’t tempted to sacrifice your diet to those mostly insipid (See’s, Godiva, etc. excepted) chocolates in the red heart boxes. And you don’t have to lie awake agonizing over whether your sweetie will be thrilled or appalled at your choice of gift.

One more thing… as someone who has been married for over 30 years, let me reassure you that Valentine’s Day never lives up to the hype. Whatever you’re imagining you’re missing out on, it probably isn’t actually like that. There’s really very little feet-sweeping-off-of going on out there.

Instead of moping, why not decide to enjoy your day. Be proactive—intentionally set out to have some fun. Find some other single people and have your own celebration. Take a “me” day and pamper yourself. Fuss over someone less fortunate than you. Nothing kills a good funk like finding out someone is worse off than you are. Here are my suggestions:

• Try a new restaurant (non-romantic eateries, such as ethnic “hole-in-the-wall” places, are best for such as busy day as this).
• Host a potluck. Tell everyone it’s a “singles party”—no pairs allowed. Including shoes, socks, earrings… Get creative!
• Rent the most ridiculous romantic comedy you can find and make loud smooching noises during all the kissing scenes.
• Host a games night.
• Treat yourself to a massage, a haircut, a manicure… something where they will fuss over you.
• Read a cheesy novel in a bathtub full of bubbles, surrounded by candles.
• Make sugar cookies. Cut out hearts and decorate them with black frosting and lurid piles of colored sprinkles.
• Take out your frustrations on the equipment at the gym. This might be your best workout ever.
• Buy one of those school packs of valentines and send one to all your friends.
• Pick up some modeling clay at your local craft store. Make effigies of all your exes and stick pins into them.
• Know any single moms, especially one with young kids? Try bringing her some chocolates and/or flowers. Odds are no one else will.
• How about elderly people or those whose spouses have died? Take them out for a meal, a drive, or just go visit. You can bring something or not—they’ll be delighted for the company.
• Bring some joy to your local homeless community. Warm red socks, a bag of nourishing food, plus a sweet treat will remind them that someone cares.
• Offer to babysit for a needy family so the parents can have some uninterrupted together time. Help the kids make Valentines to give their mom and dad when they return.

Now that you’re inspired, you’ll probably think of lots of things to do. Share your ideas—what’s worked for you? How have you handled being single on a day devoted to couples?

What should be a simple holiday encouraging us to love one another has turned into a Big Deal, with sky-high expectations of chocolates, flowers, jewelry, romantic dinners in fancy restaurants, and the perfect partner with whom to share it all.

I’d like a reset, please.

On Friday, I’ll address the angst of facing a couples holiday in a state of singleness. Today is for those currently in a relationship.

With all the Valentine’s Day hype, I have to ask—how realistic are our expectations? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and consider what it is we really want. Are chocolates and flowers our goal? Maybe, what we really desire is to be desired. To have our special someone say once again, “I love you.”

There are many ways to do that. (I listed some suggestions below.) One exercise that has really helped Pete and I communicate our love to one another is learning each other’s “love languages.” If you haven’t read one of Gary Chapman’s well-known books on this topic, I highly recommend you do so.

Here’s a quick summary: What says “I love you” to one person may be taken in a completely different way by another. Some people feel loved when they receive small gifts, while others need attention, or touch. Some appreciate tasks done while others will read and reread love notes. To effectively communicate our love to someone else, it helps to speak their “language.”

This concept can make your Valentine’s Day celebration much easier to plan. In my case, I especially value spending time with Pete. A couple of years ago we spent Valentine’s Day visiting the Butterfly Pavilion near Denver. The tropical atmosphere, blooming flowers (in February!) and brightly colored butterflies were lovely, but it was getting a whole day of Pete’s undivided attention that made it the best Valentine’s Day I’d ever had.

(Pete’s love languages are different from mine, and you can be sure I paid attention to his as well. )

I’d also like to remind you that Valentine’s Day can be a very difficult day for many people. Don’t get so wrapped up in your togetherness that you fail to include others who need your affection. Single parents, widows and others who have lost their loved ones, as well as those who long for a relationship but remain single in spite of their desires, need extra support and encouragement on holidays. This is an awesome chance to be “Jesus with skin on” to those around you.

With that in mind, here’s my list of suggestions for fun ways to celebrate the holiday of romantic love. Some of these are aimed at married couples, while others are appropriate for anyone. Hopefully, this will inspire you to plan a day just right for you. And by the way, none of these ideas need to involve flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or fancy restaurants.

• Write love letters to one another. Give specific examples why you love the other person.
• Make breakfast in bed for your spouse. How about using heart-shaped forms to make the fried eggs or pancakes?
• Pray out loud for one another. Thank God for your relationship and rededicate it to Him.
• Offer to babysit for a single parent so they can get a break. You can celebrate on another day.
• Set up a blanket on the floor, add a space heater, some Beach Boys, Jimmy Buffet, or an environments ocean CD, put on your bathing suits, and pretend you’re at the beach. Serve up some drinks with little umbrellas. You won’t even need sunscreen.
• Take communion together.
• Get some construction paper, glue and glitter. Make one another valentines like you did in elementary school. Make an extra one for someone else. Bonus points for delivering it to them in person.
• Read the Song of Solomon to one another, taking turns reading the various parts.
• Fondue is a romantic dinner you can do at home. Remember to kiss one another each time you lose a piece of bread in the cheese.
• Write a love poem or song to your sweetie. If you’re talented, sing it to them.
• Put on some music, turn down the lights, and dance around the living room and (as the song says) down the hall, up the stairs…
• If you still have them, read your old letters (or emails) to one another. I’m thankful that we couldn’t afford the long distance phone charges (back in the 70s) and had to write actual letters on paper.
• Play a game for two.
• Bring your best tablecloth and place settings to your favorite fast food restaurant. Dine in style. Don’t forget the music and candles.
• If you’re married, renew your wedding vows, just the two of you. Set the stage with some candles and music.